My brother's birthday was a few weeks ago. He ended up making some last minute plans to go out for his birthday. We already had a wedding to go to that day and I had also made some plans to hang out with some friends (that I hadn't seen in months) afterwards. I did everything I could to accomodate my brother's birthday plans. We left the wedding early and I asked my friends to meet me where my brother was having his little birthday get together. I went out of my way to make sure that I was there to celebrate with him even though I already had plans. I think that's why it especially bothers me that he bailed on me. Honestly, it would have taken an hour, at most, for him to drive to the haunted house, go through it, and drive home. That's all that I asked him for and he told me that he "couldn't make time."
The hubby, on the other hand, has never been into a haunted house. He is easily scared and I think that the football game that he "had" to watch was a cop-out. I think that he was nervous about going and once he knew that my brother and his girlfriend weren't going, he chickened out. Nonetheless, he could have gone with me and it really bothers me that he ditched me too.
It's been a week now since all of this has happened and I am still upset about it. It really hurt my feelings. It made me feel so unimportant. It seems so unfair to me that I go to everyone else's parties, I babysit for friends when I don't want to, I do favors for everyone else; and this one simple request to go to a haunted house gets completely disregarded. It makes me feel like no one cares about my wants or needs.
I'm tired of doing favors for everyone else and getting nothing in return. I'm tired of trying so hard to please everyone, when no one is willing to do the same for me. I consider myself a very nice and caring person, but apparently, I'm nice and caring to a fault. I have taught people to treat me the way that they do. I have taught others that I will do favors for them, or go to all of their parties, or let them borrow money, or babysit for them, or give them a ride somewhere and not expect them to do anything for me in return. I don't mind doing a favor now and then. That's not the issue. The problem is that I have been doing so many things for so many people for so long. Now everyone expects it from me. I don't know how to change that pattern. I have been told, "You don't get what you give, but you should give what you get." I think that's pretty good advice, but it's easier said than done.
Tonight, my brother and his girlfriend texted my husband and told him that they wanted to do something with us. I immediately said no because of the incident that happened last weekend. I decided to give right back to them what they gave me last weekend. I told my husband to tell them that I said I was too busy. Eye for an eye, right? It felt sort of empowering at first, but then I just felt like a jerk. That is where my problem is. I want to give what I get, so people will understand how they make me feel, but if I'm getting treated like crap, it makes me feel really guilty to treat other people like crap.
The weekend before last, I had someone else treating me like crap. My "best friend," actually. She asked me if I would babysit her daughter for her. I was making dinner, but had no plans afterwards, so I told her yes. She hadn't bugged me about babysitting in awhile and I figured it would only be for a few hours, so no big deal. I asked her if she could drive her to my place because I wouldn't be done with dinner by the time she needed me to watch her. She agreed, and a short while later she was at my door. I asked her what time she would be back to pick her up and that's when she dropped it on me... She said, "Oh, yeah... I'm sorry I forgot to tell you on the phone, but she's going to stay the night." My jaw hit the floor. I could not believe that she had the gall to bring her kid over here and THEN tell me that her daughter will be staying the night with us. Isn't that something that should have been crystal clear before she brought her all the way to my house?! I found it so rude and I felt extremely used. I do not plan on babysitting for her again for quite some time. I feel bad for her daughter, but you know what? I didn't sign up for that! It's not my fault that she got pregnant when she was young! It's not my fault that she wants to go out and have fun and can't do it without a babysitter! It's not my fault that her daughter's father is a complete douche bag! I'm done. NOT MY PROBLEM.
I'm still upset about last weekend. I just can't let this go. I normally don't do anything for my birthday, but this year, I asked my husband, brother, and his girlfriend to go to a haunted house with me for my birthday. I normally don't ask to go anywhere. Usually, I have to be dragged out of the house to do anything. So for me to ask other people to go out and do something is a pretty big deal. I wanted to go out and do something fun. I haven't done anything for my birthday since I turned 21... 4 years ago. Anyway, it all turned to crap. My hubby "had" to watch a football game, and my brother and girlfriend were "too busy." Everyone bailed on me... on my birthday. It hurt. Really bad.